KID COACH'S CLIPBOARD: How to Teach Young Children/Kids Not to Use Their Hands in Soccer

You ask your child to help carry in the groceries. Your expectations, do it in the most efficient and effective way possible. Accomplish this and you are a satisfied and proud parent. Not to be ridiculous but I am willing to guess you'd never allow him or her to kick the groceries into the house. Of course, this is not efficient or effective especially for the eggs.

The point is children are smarter than we often give them credit for. They know the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Heck, even my 8 month old daughter knows that the fastest way crawling to Mommy is through the coffee table. If kids are smarter than we give them credit for, doesn't it just makes sense to pick up a soccer ball, take it to where it is supposed to go (the goal) and kick it in. Am I the only one that thinks their actions are smart? Sometimes, I know parents don't think children take soccer seriously. And I ask, why should children be serious about sports if sports are not serious enough to make sense to all ages.

The rules for soccer and any sport, while simple to us as adults, don't often make sense or even matter to tots. We must find new ways to make the rules matter on a level consistent with a child's age so as not to make rules seem ridiculous or more importantly so kids don't feel stupid for not following the rules. It is so important to encourage instead of discourage a young child being introduced to sports. And in walked a jelly fish. How do you encourage a young child to accept the "no hands" rule in soccer when clearly the easiest way to get the ball into the goal is by using his or her hands?

At this point, I must ask you to forgo the blue pill for the red and jump head first into the rabbit hole. It's going to be hard to see how smart your children is when many of us are so focused on trying to play the smart card ourselves. This, like many of my simple sports lessons, is not about parenting the ideal child you most want, but rather it is about parenting the imaginative, free-spirited and creative thinking child that is naturally happy being imperfect. Our focus on the former causes parents to often forget about the latter child inside of sports.

Once you've righted your thinking, I think you'll be able to appreciate the value of the lesson I am about to teach you. It's simple and fun and my hope is that you will quickly create a habit other parents can envy.

The lesson begins by breaking an old habit. It is important for you to accept that it is no longer acceptable to tell your child "no hands." Children are told no 50,000 times before age 5. Saying "no hands" is falling on deaf little ears. The greater majority of children are immune to the word no anymore. Although easily said, the only thing I believe is being done is you are contributing to a cause with a perpetuating cycle that has long existed among parents of young children likely since the inception of the game of soccer. The detrimental results are your ongoing frustration and continual disappointment in your child. Remember, it is your responsibility to encourage not discourage, and be productive not destructive when supporting your child playing sports. Get on track by breaking the "no hands" habit.

Finally, what you've been waiting for, the "no hands" lesson. Young children fight for your affection, your hugs, your kisses. They love you. They enjoy sports more when you are playing too. Playing off of their understanding of what love is and how it is shown, you can show your son or daughter how to effectively move the soccer ball without using hands.

Teach him or her how to kiss the ball with their feet, little kisses and big kisses. Little kisses move the soccer ball slowly and big kisses move it fast. When a child uses his or her hands, it is your job to explain how we don't hug the soccer ball like a teddy bear; we kiss it with our feet. Children understand this much better than you screaming "no hands!" over and over.

Thereby, when you see your child using hands; you simply say, "Kisses not hugs" as much as needed. Giving this gentle reminder to use their feet to kiss the ball as you demonstrate it is the best way to make a statement and also be a positive role model. Now of course, a invariably a young child will test your patience and continue using his or her hands. Think of them as exploratory creatures. It is up to you to gently guide them in the right direction, with the bulk of your attention focused on doing it however you do it, GENTLY. I'll tell you from experience, a gentle approach combined with a positive attitude makes all the difference.

See you in class,

Coach Pickles.